How to suck at Twitter


posted by on New ways of...


LEGO Twitter Fail Whale

Twitter in Belgium surpassed 1 Million users. That’s what news media reported earlier this month. Numbers show how twitter use doubled compared to last year, from 520 thousand to 1,1 million users. That makes Belgium the 35th country worldwide.

With so many new arrivals on Twitter, it’s probably a good idea to learn some of the basic rules of Twitter. What should you do? Or better yet: what are some things you definitely should not do on Twitter?

  1. Make sure your Twitter name is “unique”, meaning: long, complicated and hard to remember. Add as much keywords as possible. For example @cleverwoodnewwaysoftweeting
  2. Eggs are cool. You don’t need to set a custom avatar.
  3. There is no need to fill out your bio either. Who needs to know who you are anyway? It’s not like people are going to visit your profile.
  4. Use a #hashtag in #everything you #write on #Twitter. All the #hipsters are doing it!
  5. Use Twitter only to push links to your website. Repeat the same tweet every day until people start replying.
  6. Whatever you do, don’t interact! Never answer any questions from your followers. You’re not that social.
  7. Never retweet. Just copy that interesting message you saw and remove the name of whoever mentioned it earlier.
  8. When you do a #ff, be sure to include @yourself in that list. Instant karma!
  9. Do you are operate a corporate account? Then be sure to only follow other accounts of your company!
  10. Display links to all your social media accounts from the company website. A widget is even better. It doesn’t matter if your last update was 6 months ago.

Feel free to pat yourself on the back if you don’t recognise any of the above. If however you do see yourself making some of these mistakes, perhaps it’s good to go through the tweetiquette again.

Image: LEGO Twitter Fail Whale by Bjarne Panduro Tveskov (Flickr)

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